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You are now the proud owner of an authentic Terrible Towel. This is no ordinary towel! This is the beloved symbol of the loyalty and enthusiasm that the people of Pittsburgh have for their NFL team, the Steelers, and more generally for the pride that they have in their city.
The Terrible Towel is not for cleaning. Please refer to the following guidelines for proper Terrible Towel use.
Panel 1: [Man waving towel over his head and cheering] Correct
Panel 2: [Drying hands over a sink with towel] Incorrect
Panel 3: [Wiping up a spill with towel] Incorrect
Panel 4: [Hanging from towel, sliding along a zipline] Incorrect But Awesome*
*We are not responsible for improvised-zipline-related injuries.